little thought

I always have little thoughts running in my mind at the impromptu time. Just like when I see a scene, I will imagine what if I am one of the person who involved in that, then I will started to have a lot of  "if" in my mind, and it might lead me to anxiety.

I think me myself is a quite optimistic person, whenever I am in a bad situation,  I keep telling myself everything is just temporarily and time will make things right. I might look okay but deep inside my mind I am much worried, because I don't know how long my optimistic thinking can be with me or what if things get worse, will I still able to handle it by myself.

I know all the stupid theory like just enjoy the moment now , do anything you like without bordering what others say, speak out what's in your mind..... I wanted to, I really do. But when I did that, the outcome doesn't really like what it suppose to be.

When you told bout what you are thinking, people will take that very seriously and  started to judge you, or they might blame you for being too straight forward or stupid because never filter what to say. Sometimes, I just say it without any hinting purpose , I just wanna let you know that what's in my mind. I didn't mean to push anyone away with my sharing. The purpose of telling my story is just because I wish that you could understand what I had been through and bring up today's me.

People wants us to be true, but when we are, how many of them are able to accept? I am not surprise when people left, I only surprise when they stay.